This Weeks Power Rankings: January 4th Edition, Gilbert Arenas, Gilbere Forte’, NFL Playoffs and More

2010-00

1. 2010 – I love the start of a new year. Anything is Possible! (© Kevin Garnett) If your 2009 was awesome, keep it going. Your 2009 sucked? Forget about it. Here at Uristocrat, we’re excited about 2010 and will have one of the greatest years of all-time. We hope you do the same.

2. Agent Zero – What a bizarre locker room the Wizards have. I’m not sure what type of practice they’re doing, but having a gun seems to be a requirement for attendance. Personally, I think they should run with this, change their name back to the Bullets and come out to “Always Strapped” before every game. Instead, I think Gil and Crittenton are facing very lengthy suspensions.

3. The NFL Playoffs – I wish they would bring back the Don Cheadle commercials. Other than that, I’m looking forward to this year’s playoffs. All twelve teams seem to have at least a decent shot at the Super Bowl, although San Diego seems to be the strongest team headed into January. Of course, we’re really looking forward to the Eagles/Cowboys game here at Uristocrat, as the winner of this game has a really good chance at a deep playoff run.

4. Jim Caldwell – Watching Wes Welker crumble to the earth on Sunday, I could see why Jim wanted to keep a lot of his stars out of harm’s way. While I still wish they would’ve tried for perfection, I’m sure Jim is happy to go into the playoffs with a healthy Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark and Bob Sanders.

5. Work and Class – It’s the first Monday of the year, which means back to work and class for many of us. Productivity will vary, but for most of us showing up is the hardest part. Drink lots of cups of coffee and visit Uristocrat.com during the day to help pass the time. Feel free to tweet us at twitter.com/uristocrat and tell us about your crappy first day of the year.

6. Tim Tebow – He didn’t answer all of his critics and never will, but he did close out his decorated career with a bang. 31-35, 482 yards, 3TDs with another 51 yards and a TD on the ground as well. That’s 533 yards of total offense for the man that should go down as one of the best, if not the best, college football player of all time.

7. Livers – Is there a way to get on the donor list now? Starting on the 30th or sooner, many of us were on quests to do as much damage to our livers as possible. With the New Year falling on a Friday, there seemed to be more days than usual to pop it off. Shoutout to everyone that did, and I have to get a shoutout to everyone who were smart about it (unlike me) and didn’t kill themselves every night.

8. Gilbere Forte’ – Who knew he was a rapper? Over the last few weeks we’ve seen Gilbere release track after track showcasing his talents. Listen to his “Exhibit G” as a reference.

9. The Gym + Whole Foods – This duo figures to play a prominent role in a lot of people’s new year’s resolutions to ‘work out and eat healthier.’ Both places should be crowded for the next month or so until people forget/give up on their promises.
10. The Great Scott Mixtape – Soprano, the underdog from VA, dropped a nice little stocking stuffer on us right around Christmas. The mixtape is refreshing to listen to and is a throwback to the era of lyrics first, beats second. A lot of people have downloaded it already and if you haven’t check it out.

  1. When will brothers learn? I mean you think that looking at people like TI, Lil Wayne, Plaxico Burress, etc would deter dudes from carrying fire arms, But, i guess not. Seems like brothers always trying to mess up their money and their endorsement games (Tiger Woods smh. New Years Resolution-keep ya pimp hand tight because these women will mess your life up)

    Also, I’m sick what Tim Tebow did to my UC Bearcats (straight embarrassment). O well, the better team definitely won. Now lets see what Tebow can do in the league

  2. Agent Zero may have pulled a Plax….but I want to at least wait till all the facts come out. (But his 100 million dollar contract looks like its about to disappear). Thankfully I still don’t have class for a lil while longer…not looking forward to it though. Shoutout on those tracks you put up…type tough.

  3. Haha liver damage is no joke! Luckily I took it easy this year. As far as new years resolutions go, Ima just try to get my grades together and get a job! I am still waiting to hear more bout the situation wit Gil but it’s not looking good at all. These celebs need to focus on the cake and less on the drama!

  4. I agree that the Don Cheadle commercials need to be brought back; definitely one of the best and most interesting football commercials to watch during timeouts.

    Besides last night’s game against the Cowboys, the Eagles look to be the best team right now for the playoffs as well as the Colts. You also cannot overlook the Patriots with Brady and Moss.

  5. I know there are a lot of people who do not think tebow will excel at the next level. I think if he gets himself into a wildcat offense he will continue ballin out of control the way has been the last four years.

  6. Haha. That would be funny if the Wizards came out to that song. Agent Zero should have acted more wisely with his decisions of pulling out a gun on a teammate. I don’t think David Stern will take this lightly.

    Shoutout to the Eagles….It’s going to be tough for the Cowboys to pull it off twice, but the Eagles may have problems with their offensive line.

  7. YEA BUDDY.. That Cowboys, Eagles game should be one of epic proportions. I’m interested to see how different the Wild Card game will be. Everyone keeps talking about how the Eagles, “Didn’t want to show anything” last Sunday. Regardless, I predict a solemn Monday in the City of Philadelphia.

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