“Tiger I’ma let you finish, but Kobe Bryant had the best sports apology of all time”

So its 11am on a Friday, and instead of reading cases, I’m watching a grown man apologize publicly for private acts that had little to no real effect on the lives of the people he’s apologizing to. This song and dance isn’t new, especially in the realm of sports. The scenario goes something like this: 1) athlete becomes rich, famous, and wildly successful, 2) athlete fucks up royally 3) athlete is forced to apologize to the World in order to save their career and public image.

So the question is, how does Tiger’s apology compare to other public apologies by well known athletes?

First, we had Kobe. The allegations against Kobe were clearly more serious than those against Tiger –Kobe was facing years in prison. But what’s great about the Kobe apology is that it was completely freestyled. Regardless of whether or not he practiced the speech beforehand, the fact that he wasn’t reading a statement makes it seem more sincere.

Next we had A. Rod’s apology for his use performance enhancing drugs. This is one public apology that I felt was warranted given the effect of A. Rod’s actions on the game of baseball and its fans. Where A. Rod goes wrong in his apology is in throwing his cousin under the bus for his mistake. Come on A. Rod, you took the roids, you play the game, no need for to bring anyone else into the mix. Stand on your own two feet homie.

Finally we have Tiger. If you missed it, here’s a recap: I had affairs, I apologize for my actions, I was a bad role model, Elin didn’t hit me with a driver (sidenote: I’m not so sure I believe that), leave me and my family alone, I’ll play golf when I feel like it, all praises to Buddha. All in all, Tiger said exactly what he needed to say. Tiger took complete responsibility for his actions and apologized to his family and friends for his mistake(s). Yes, it was a prepared statement, and I’m sure that a well paid attorney wrote the bulk of it, but when the words came out of Tiger’s mouth you could tell he meant them. As well, Tiger’s PR people did a good job of telling him to look directly into the camera when he was making his apology, kudos to them.

Regardless of the “quality” of the apology we always seem to forgive our beloved athletes. No one cared that Kobe violated that young Caucasian woman’s butthole after another successful season in ’03-’04, and A. Rod may be more loved than ever after ending his playoff slump and helping the Yankees win the World Series. I’m sure when Tiger decides to come back, he’ll be the same focused Tiger we saw in the last tournament he played in before his hiatus (which he won). The apology was just the first step to Tiger’s calculated return to greatness..

Check out the Kobe and A. Rod’s apologies below. Kobe’s is my personal favorite — “I’m innocent,” lol.

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