Flyer’s Bandwagon Fan’s Guide to Hockey

So the Flyers have made it to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1997.  Naturally, you have to put on for your city so you’re on the Flyers’ bandwagon now.  However, you don’t know a damn thing about hockey and you haven’t even watched a single quarter period this year.  Don’t worry, Uristocrat has your back, and I’m here to answer some of the questions you may have.

How many quarters are there? Hockey doesn’t have quarters.   The game is split into three 20 minute periods.

How often do they fight? Fighting is actually not as big of a part of the game as you may think.  While there are times where teams have to show their toughness through checking and fighting, this isn’t MMA on skates.

Since Ovechkin and Crosby are eliminated, there aren’t any stars in the finals right? Wrong, however most of the stars in this series play for the Blackhawks.  Jonathan Toews, Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook won Gold medals with Team Canada and Patrick Kane is one of the best young American players in the game.  Dustin Byfuglien is also an up and coming player and has been on fire all play offs.

Where’s Eric Lindross? You’re kidding right?  This dude hasn’t been in Philly for years.

So the Flyers are trash? While the Flyers are probably huge underdogs in this series, I wouldn’t call them trash.  Besides, they did make the Stanley Cup Finals.  Mike Richards is an up and coming star, Chris Pronger is a veteran who’s won MVP in the past and Simon Gagne is a great player as well.

So the Flyers don’t stand a chance? Hockey is a little more unpredictable than the other three major sports.  If a team gets a hot goalie or catches a few breaks, they can defy the odds and topple a better team.  Philly has already done this twice.

What is this matchup like? The Flyers are a physical, grind it out sort of team, while the Blackhawks are a deep team with skilled players at all key positions.  Comparing this match to the NBA, Chicago is like the Lakers while the Flyers are like the Jazz.

If someone gets a hat trick, do I really have to throw my fitted on the ice? Yes.  If you go to a game, and Simon Gagne gets a hat trick, please toss your brand new Flyers fitted on to the ice and pay homage.

There aren’t any black players in the NHL, are there? Both teams have one (which isn’t a lot, but it’s a start).  Dustin Byfuglien is a rare black player from the United States and the Flyers injured goal tender Ray Emery is black as well.

Hockey is boring right?  They scores are like 2-1 and stuff like that. Hockey is actually an action packed sport.  The game is face paced and has big hits, skilled passing and is full of amazing goals and saves.  The action of the game isn’t reflected in the score.

That should cover it for now.  Go out and buy your Flyers gear, load up on beer and get ready to watch the Blackhawks clinch the Stanley Cup in four games at the Wachovia Center the Flyers try to pull off one last upset.

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