In one of the most egotistical moments in the history of professional sports, LeBron James has decided to hold ESPN hostageannounce his free agency during a 1-hour ‘special’ 9PM tomorrow. LeBron missed out on the college recruiting experience and has been using this fulfill that void. Teams have met with his parents, Gloria James and Delonte West, his team of advisers and friends, giving emotional pleas and elaborate presentations.
Meanwhile, rumors about him and the other free agents have been swirling during the entire process. One minute he’s going to be playing with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami. The next minute he’s going to be playing Amar’e and Joe Johnson David Lee in New York. Luckily, we have ten really solid sources who know for sure what’s going to happen tomorrow night.
10. Stephen A. Smith let us know that LeBron is going to announce that he’s signing with the Cleveland Browns tomorrow.
9. Ric Bucher just tweeted us that LeBron will sign with the Clippers and that he’s a huge fan of Baron Davis’ beard.
8. Chris Broussard just texted in that LeBron and Chris Bosh will join Dwyane Wade in Miami and that the Uristocrat staff has agreed to join them for the league minimum. Wait a minute, we did what?
7. A source close to the situation recently told us that LeBron is singing with the Knicks, Nets, Cavs, Bulls, Clippers, Heat or a team to be named later.
6. Stephen A. just got back to us and said that LeBron is signing with the Cleveland Indians, not the Browns.
5. One source has confirmed that LeBron will resign with the Cavs only if NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will agree to suspend Delonte West for conduct detrimental to the league.
4. Chris Broussard is now reporting that LeBron has agreed in principle to become Elin Woods’ personal servant for 200 million over 5 years.
3. An anonymous source close to Jay-Z has confirmed that LeBron won’t sign to the Nets, but will sign with Roc Nation.
2. Stephen A. just texted that he heard from Chris Broussard that he had a source close to a source that kinda sorta knows one of LeBron’s cousins that knows for sure that LeBron is joining Warren Buffet’s YMCA team.
1. I’ve just received confirmation that LeBron’s ego is out of control and me and the rest of these reporters are full of crap.