What’s good people?!!?! It’s the friar of flap, the lord of the lascivious, your flapness, the Duke of Brooklyn, the mayor of madness, The Hood’s Marty Markowitz, Sir Flappy McFlapstar, el bachatero of the flap dance floor, Ya’ll are once again blessed to be in the presence of greatness! The young gawd of all other flaps!! The mighty Flap Lasagna, the F.L.A.P.S.T.R., the Flapologists, the Flap Don, the Editor of the Flap Source, the one who only loves her if she’s a flapstar.
I’ve taken a bit of a break from the leading the masses to the flap. I’ve had to spread the gospel of flap to our brethren across the pond. However, when you catch wind of certain events, certain unique, rare opportunities of flap, you have to take a break from flapping.
You’ve been sitting here waiting on me to write one of these like
But before I get to the flap, I have to take this opportunity to make sure that ya’ll go out and vote. I’ve attached reasons why I’m voting for on candidate and not the other.
I personally think that the most important issue of the election is women’s rights but with that said
So I’ve heard about all the flap (or lack thereof) and I had to ask myself
I commend you all for trying to flap without me but I know that you’ve actually been doing this
I’m out here doing me all over Europe (see Barcelona –>)
also peep the tee. Tees and crews are available on the uristocrat.com website.
But w/o further ado The UPENN HOMECOMING EDITION OF THE FLAP
7PM – Makuu Black Cultural Center Presents the Young Alumni Mixer – City TapHouse – 3925 Walnut St. – Who doesn’t wanna hang out with Daina, her fine ass cougar friends, Ms. Connie, Crystal and all the other legends of Makuu present and past? Plus City Tap is FIYAH as a venue. Free hors d’oeuvres and drink specials!
8PM – Spec-Trum Presents: Miguel & Phony PPL – Listen Miguel is simply that crack. If you aint listened to Adorn and cried a little thug tear. The man, who happens to look like Frankie Lymon and Pharrell loves child, be singing breh. And where else can you see this man for the cheap? I mean $15 cash should be more than doable. However, I’m not gonna act as if I have any clue who Phony PPL are and why they spell their name like that, but I’m told that they’re nice as shit. I trust my sources and you should too. Here’s how to get a ticket:http://www.facebook.com/
10pm – PEYSO’S SIGNATURE EVENT – UPENN’s Homecoming Alumni Celebration: Sin City – Tashan: 777 Broad St. – I really thought about just leaving this blank and not saying anything. The event should speak for itself. Uristocrat and Cash Entertainment is bringing you this event. DJ R2da, Philadelphia’s favorite DJ, is on the 1’s and 2’s. That’s enough to get you there. However, I’ll elaborate. When you go to other school’s homecoming events something is always missing. Whether its going to Howard’s Homecoming where most of the ppl are bougie for no damn reason (you really think that I’m impressed when you say you went to Howard?) or Temple Homecoming, where it’s a bit difficult to discern the alumni from the North Philadelphians, Penn’s Homecoming presents the opportunity to party and mingle with some of the most successful black, brown, yellow, Puerto rican and Asian/Haitian young people around. Furthermore, no one is putting up airs, and everyone is coming to have a great time. THIS IS THE MOVEMENT. IF YOU’RE NOT AT THE MOVEMENT, DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR LACK OF FLAP. RSVP Here…
1PM – Penn Football vs. Brown – Now you may look at Brown and say that they’re trash because they’re 2-4. You right, they might be trash. But that’s neither here nor there. Ask your friends if there school has a special tailgate inside of the stadium, directly behind the endzone, during the game. How could you hate the best seat in the house, free food and beer/wine? While I know the players wont look as good as this guy à , this is still the movement.
6PM – Taste of Penn Spectrum: A Celebration of Diversity – Houston Hall, Hall of Flags: 3417 Spruce Street – Another event that WILL FLAP. How could a selection of some of the finest culinary options in Philadelphia for the low low not flap? Do you not like to eat? Do you not like good food? Don’t refuel for the night with Bo Sing or Crown Fried Chicken when you can eat like god/goddess you think you are?
10pm – yPenn Homecoming HighBall – Houston Hall – 3417 Spruce Street – OPEN BAR FOR $10 CASH. STFU and go to the damn party.
1AM – Black Magic: The Young Alumni Highball After Party – 4436 Sansom St. – My young bols Collin and Jeff and my LB Cash are teaming up to throw a late night flow that will be the ultimate FLAP. I personally think this is the way you should end your night. Age appropriate, liquor that is not filled with ridiculous amounts of sugar, not an absolute sweat box, and where little kids are not literally trying to fcuk on the dance floor. #GrownPPLShit”
While other homecomings may be somewhat flappy, or more well known, tell me if your school actually takes care of you like this? Let’s be real breh. Penn >>>>> your school (my safety school)