The Flap Guide is ! Want to reach Peyso? Tweet him dui lawyer athens or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Dear Loyal Subjects of Flap,
It is I, the friar of flap, the lord of the lascivious, your flapness, the Duke of Brooklyn, the mayor of madness, The Hood’s Marty Markowitz, Sir Flappy McFlapstar, el bachatero of the flap dance floor, Froto of the Flapshire, Marty McFlap, it is me Sir Lord Duke Flappington of House Flappister, first of his name. The purveyor of all things popping
It has been exactly 120 days since my last flap concession. I know that my correspondences with my many followers are becoming increasingly infrequent. However, rest assured it is not because I loathe my duties. I have not denounced my position as The Flappiest Flapper of the East. I still live by my oath.
I know that yall are excited, sitting at your desk, reading on your phone, while yall processing what happened on Scandal looking like Bill à
Unlike Drake, please contain your happiness
The last few months have been eye opening. Notwithstanding Grits & Biscuits, this winter been trash mayne. Where was the MLK weekend flappage? Where was the President’s Day flappage? The few events been trash breh and I hated these joints. Mofos out here talking about a day party and we got a forecast of snow. They talking about clubbing but got mofos waiting in the cold. I’ve seen promoters posting pics on IG fronting like the hotel room is their room. Why you fronting for the cameras breh?
You know what I got to say about the promoters this winter?
Am I lying or naw?
The peanut gallery is out here talking about, “How you the flap gawd but you aint flapping?” I’m like à
But shouldn’t I be studying for that little test called the bar at the end of July? Eff that sheeit. à
Eff all that,
This weekend fitting to be nuts, word to
I can really watch this video all day.
Without further ado
South N The City – 5:30pm – Studio XXI – 59 W. 21st Street – What can I say about a party that starts at 5:30? #Turndownforwhat Imagine Grits & Biscuits but as a happy hour and in a slightly smaller venue, this is what you’re getting. I really don’t have anything bad to say about this event, except how the hell do they expect you to party from 5:30pm to 3am? GTFOHWTBS
Tonight, We are Young #5 – 9pm – Electric Warehouse – 1428 Fulton St. – When this event came across my inbox, I really didn’t know what to think. First, I was like “who the hell are these mofos that had four parties before they invited me to one?” I almost deleted it for this alone. How, you not invite El Jefe de la Flap? I said to myself, “I was in England. They aint even know.” Then I thought, who the hell wants to party in Bed Stuy? Trust me, I am Brooklyn’s biggest fan, but even I was confused. Then I also thought, who in God’s world wants to party from 9pm to effing 5am? I was ready to tell whomever sent me this to take this sh*t up the block. But then, BUT THEN, The Almighty Flap Gawd brought before my eyes to important videos. Neither are SFW (No nudity, but I just wouldn’t want my boss seeing this level of ratchet/tomfoolery/flappage.) Number 1 – tab buy levitra
Then I thought to myself, THESE MOFOS MADE WORLDSTAR. I AM ALL THE WAY IN THERE, LIKE SWIMWEAR
All Dance Everything – 11pm – No Malice Palace – 197 E 3rd St – Thrown by main man Run P “The Free Safety”, he’s definitely going to have the spot jumping. If you’re looking to actually dance you’re ass off to R&B, Funk, Hip-Hop, EDM, Dancehall, Bounce, Club, and Soul. There is absolutely no cover charge or dress, so take that money you would’ve spent for entry and spend it on you, me, him, and her.
Makossa Brooklyn Cookout – 2pm – Brooklyn Taphouse – 590 Myrtle Ave – I have to start this description with a small disclaimer, the venue is quite possibly my favorite bar in the world. How can you not like a place with 50 beers on tap? How can you not like a place that has the infamous Belgian beer, Gulden Draak? A beer that 10.5% and is sold at $6. A beer that is just like the women I love; brown, bold, sweet, smooth and packs a punch? Now, to the actual event, there is a great backyard area and a huge indoor space so the weather wont be a huge factor. The music is definitely going to be good as the famous DJ Wonway Posibul, a nationally renowned DJ will be providing the tunes. If you’re not afraid of traversing to “Clinton Hill” (we all know this was Bed Stuy 5 years ago – white ppl = 1, black folk = 0, L), this is something that you should seriously consider.
Brunch Bounce – Who knows what time? – La Marina Beach – 348 Dyckman St – Whenever I send out the Flap Street Journal, my uptown homies always ask, “Why aren’t there any Harlem events?” I always curve the question. But today I answer, I don’t really eff w/ yall. I don’t like Harlem. #kanyeshrug. I don’t like Harlem so much that I went and found an event all the way in the Heights. I rather mofos go past Harlem to flap. Lol. I know its far. But, the pics and videos don’t lie. For the men, if ya’ll trying to switch it up and get you a domi mami, this is definitely the movement. For the ladies, you trying to get you Dominican man, this is the movement. Also, the venue is very much the wave, with scenic views of Jersey (how can a view of something so ugly be scenic?) and the GWB. If you’re not afraid of the 1, the A, or the Henry Hudson, this is the movement. Pics & videos here àuse women herbal viagra (SFW)
Swimming with Sharks – 3pm – Le Bain, The Standard – 444 W. 13th St – I really don’t know what to say about this event. I don’t know the promoters, I don’t really know what the line will be like, I don’t know what the cost is. What I do know is that, there are many big corporate sponsers behind this event, which means there will probably be free stuff. I also, know that THIS IS A POOL PARTY. Summer has arrived. Bring ya swimsuits if you ready, and if you haven’t been in the gym, leave ya swimsuit home.
The Prefix – 4pm – Brooklyn Terrace – 216 Duffield St – Thrown by famed party consortium TNE, this event has some potential. What is most interesting about this event is the time. That 4pm start time is just after brunch but before club movements. It cuts into the very necessary nap time between brunch and the club, but we all know if you nap, you probably aint making it out that night. This is where you need to go to kill that time.
Memorial Day Party – 9pm – Inside Park at St. Bark – 325 Park Ave – I am going to be honest. This is an event for the ladies (which then makes it an event for the dudes). I say this because if yall looking for sugar daddies, the crowd here is generally a bit older and a bit more successful lol. I kid. But I do love the venue, which is a gorgeous Park Ave restaurant in Midtown East. Also, there’s a great heated outdoor balcony, if you want to be outside w/o dealing with the weather. It’s hosted Melyssa Ford (I don’t know if that is going to make ppl go or not go) and features a 3 hour open bar option.
The Rub – 10pm – The Bell House – 149 7th St. – Eff the pretentiousness. Eff the girls w/ high heels who don’t want to dance. Eff the bowties. The blazers. The overpriced drinks. This is how Brooklyn does it. YOUNG GURU will be on the turntables and will definitely have it jumping. I don’t have any smart comments, or funny gifs. This should be the movement. $10 before midnight, $15 after.
Do the Right Thing: A Jerrell Horton Joint – 10pm – Parlour Member’s Only Club – 290 Hudson St – I read the email and I was like, “interesting..,” Full disclosure what had me was “Free Admission, Open Bar and Food for everyone in fresh old school gear.” For those on the cheap, this is the movement. For those with Dada short sets,
this is the place for you. I don’t know how long the #allfreeeverything movement will be happening, so I’d recommend getting there early.
Nostalgia – 11pm – Chelsea Manor – 138 W. 25th St. – TNE is going for the two-fer; two events in one day. Can they pull it off? Time will tell. Probably one of the better DJs I’ve ever heard, DJ Aktive is DJing this event, so it definitely will be jumping. The only downfall is that I actually hate Chelsea Manor. The spot is just too small for my liking. However, ya’ll know swole like ya mans (pause), so yall should be good. Ladies are free until midnightand dudes are reduced. Here is my real issue with this party, wtf are we being nostalgic about? Who the hell is nostalgic at the beginning of summer? You want me to remember what? Sandy? That terrible behind snowstorm? The events ya’ll just threw two hours ago? FOH
The Do Over – 2pm – The Well Brooklyn – 272 Meserole St. – This is really the event to be at. I promise you that it will pop. It will have the best looking women, the coolest dudes, the best dressers, and the best music. The line will be nuts, so get there early. I’ll probably be here by like 3pm, #wordasbond. If I had to pick one event to go to this whole weekend, this would be it. They legitimately threw two of the best parties of NYC Summer 2012.
The Summer Open – 2pm – Hotel on Rivington – 107 Rivington St. – This event is thrown by the Block Association. Marketed as “Kentucky Derby meets Fashion Night Out,” if you’re into the crowd that likes to see and be seen, this is the event for you. I probably wont be here because I don’t like the whole bowties, blazer, boat shoes w/ no sock, Dwayne Wade high water, pedal pusher, capris, Kevin Durant look. However, if that’s your thing, this is it. Even though I wont be there, the event should still pop.
Tiki Disco – 2pm – The Knockdown Center – 52-19 Flushing Ave – This is really the only event that I see competing with the Do Over. It was marketed as a place where ppl “Get fried, dance their asses off, and pop a molly or 8.” However, making movements to Queens on Memorial Day Weekend? Probably not gonna happen. It is not even cool Queens, its that part of Queens that is almost Brooklyn near the L train. Yuck. Lucky for us, they’re throwing another one in July in Brooklyn somewhere.
Brag About Sundays – 3pm – Brooklyn Terrace – 216 Duffield St. – When I got the email about this party, it said that it was thrown by a “couple of industry vets.” No disrespect, but I don’t really know these dudes. However, this event has the ability to really pop. $20 unlimited mimosa special from3-5pm and D’Usse open bar from 4:30-5:30 (do people really drink this?) They also mentioned that they’re going to have board games and video games (is this a good thing?) However, the location is solid and the event has the potential to pop. So if its not popping, it is very easy to make movements afterwards.
Take Off: KOS’s Final Party – 10pm – EVR – 54 W. 39th St. – You gotta respect people who know and understand that their time has ended. People have the audacity to gracefully bow out. This is KOS’s last party. They’ve definitely thrown some good ones over time, and I think that they’ll definitely be trying to go out with a bang. One of my favorite DJs in DJ gWiz. It should be a zoo.
Dyandra and Erica’s #MemorialDayBBQ – 2pm – 430 Hancock St. #1 – This is the perfect way to end a flappy Memorial Day Weekend. Polish off the left over bottles of Henny, eat some grub and fill out your roster. BYOB. Also, $5 donation requested for tornado relief in Oklahoma.
Want to reach Peyso? Tweet him @Peyso or email him at email@example.com