“They are old-school 70s style punks, and they dress like King Diamond. For real, like all the time, no joke, shaved head, white face make-up, massive black eyes dripping blood. That’s how they dress normally.”
Who’s this new guy on Uristocrat? Why ‘s he blogging about mustached disco dudes and recession specials? Is that tattoo real? Where can I get that disgusting skull screen print?
Luckily for you, we forced him to a little biographical post. We can’t confirm if any of this is true, but prepare to have an egg of knowledge cracked on your brain.
I’ll start with my name, it’s Matthew Mixveigh. Uristocrat wanted someone who was ‘In-The-Know’ with all things arty, party, and occasionally culturally relevant issues, so they came to me. Apparently they found me passed out on the street and when I woke up Ed had me all tied up. After he worked me over pretty good (I still have a black eye) he asked if I wanted to write for this blog Uristocrat. I figured since wearing a skull mask wasn’t allowing me to get a job I’d take him up on his offer.
Now I’d never seen a computer before, they’re hard to come by when you’re raised in the Tennessee backwoods by a pack of wild dogs, and I didn’t know a thing about street wear, hell I’ve been wearing the same clothes since I’ve been 16. I made a deal with him though, I said, “If you let me go out and party every night, I’ll write about it for the site, and since I got a pretty good ear for tunes I’ll write about them to.” Ed thought this was a pretty good deal, so he untied me and now hear I am.
When I’m not writing for this I got a pretty nice set up over at Temple University. They let me sit around at their school as long as I study something called Journalism. I work for this other website to, it’s called Phrequency, they got a lot of good coverage of all these parties I’m at. Ed let me have one of his old cellular phones so I could get a Twitter. Apparently I just type stuff in and it goes all over the internet and you can follow me to get all the ‘latest news’. If want to clue me in on something E-mail me at email@example.com.
I have to go ‘work’ now at the 941 Theater for a dubstep show with Benga Plastic Little, Flufftronix, and RX. It’s $13 and BYO.